Life really is becoming this case of seeing the holes in my game, and taking active steps to fill them. The latest hole was exposed pretty widely to me (and surely to others) this weekend upon two games: spades and basketball.
I should probably state it plainly: I went into both games confident, zealous for victory, and arrogant. And got smacked in the face during both games, realized the stench, and made a humbling adjustment to close my mouth and put the cross of Christ back in the front of my actions and speech.
Its really embarassing when you see your own flaws. Even moreso when your flaws come out in fron of those whom you mentor. But, that was the case for me this weekend, and I realized just how much I stink.
You see, confidence is a good thing to have. You should know you value, know your strengths and weaknesses, and even know some of those you live, work, and play with. This is good, and is part of that mojo (to quote my neighbor) that we share with others. A confident person picks up the game of others who might not be as skilled. A confident person allows others to lead where they are clearly stronger or smarter. If you can tell, genuine confidence is marked by humility. Of which, in boht games, I started with none.
Suffice to say, I made some mid-game adjustments. The biggest one being to focus on the task at hand, shut my mouth, put my head down, and play. And when I did that, there was not just victory, but others won as well. We all welcomed the competition, but when I humbled myself, I knew that the air around the games were better, healthier.
And I’m the first to tell you that I don’t like to lose. However, I will accept any loss that helps me to learn a lesson. In my losses this weekend, I learned that true confidence isn’t manipulative actions or bravado, but an understanding of your place, and performing your role to the best of your abilities in service to the team you play with.
This lesson I needed as I’m launching out anew. And hopefully, it will be God’s winning in this life that would be affirmed over anything that I wish that I could bring to the table. That would be a better smell than this smelly loser any day.